During the 4th of July holiday, I went out into my backyard to watch N hanging her laundry. My neighbor and his wife were assembling something in their backyard. At first I thought it was a support for a free-standing hammock, and I asked him if that’s what it was. “No”, he said “It’s a trampoline!” I quickly came back with “Ah, an attractive nuisance!”. They both looked at me strangely and then he said “But they’re really fun!” Realizing I’d said something dumb, I started to explain about how they have to worry about other kids coming into their yard to play on it, but I don’t think I made much sense. Nevertheless, he nodded knowingly (or patronizingly). After that, they only did a little more work on it, and they didn’t touch it the whole rest of the weekend, even though I know they were home. Only part of the frame is up, and the dog doesn’t seem too happy to have over half her yard potentially taken up with the thing. Maybe they realized it’s too big?

After the exchange, N asked me what the heck was I thinking and why did I want to piss off my neighbors? Of course the term was on my mind because of the Loud Family album Attractive Nuisance, which is where I first heard of it. So whenever I see a trampoline, that’s what I always think of. Damn this pop culture/pop music mindset of mine! That explanation didn’t do much to mollify her. I think the real explanation is that sometimes I’m just a dick.

Latre.

Pet Peeve of the Day: A giant trampoline in my neighbor’s yard. Cue the noisy kids having a lot of fun!

Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “poignant search term of the day”. (Very funny, InfK!)

2 Days In Paris is a movie that starts off funny and interesting, but kind of falls apart by the end. N and I watched the DVD last night and enjoyed it, with some reservations. It’s the story of two lovers Marion and Jack, played by Julie Delpy and Adam Goldberg, who are on their way back to New York from a vacation in Venice and stop off to visit her parents in Paris. The parents are crazy old artist hippie types and there is much predictable but funny culture clash between Jack and them (and the other denizens of Delpy’s Paris). But then as more of Marion’s past comes to light (along with her anger management issues), the movie takes some darker turns, while still trying to pass itself off as something of a farce.

Star Delpy directed as well as wrote the movie, and her real life parents play her character’s parents in the movie. It’s a real family affair. Obviously she put a lot of herself into the film, and it shows. There’s some rawness and grittiness to Paris that you don’t always see in other movies set there. Goldberg’s character is actually likable in the movie (not always the case with him) and I cared more about Jack than I did about Marion, even if he was a bit of a whiner. So kudos to Delpy for showing the flaws in her character’s character. By the end of the movie, I did feel I got to know the characters better, but I’m not sure I was better off for it.

Latre.

Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “armless statue of jesus”.

Speaking of the Internet, my buddy (and blog commenter) DMR is giving a go to another blog attempt: 50% Off. This one is about his adventures as a recovering pack rat. Check it out. Since I’m currently trying to organize and dispose of a large comic book collection infesting my basement, I’m sure he’ll have some advice in there I can use.

Hey, ABBA reunited! Sort of.

This has been a Paula-style blog post (though not as interesting). Thank you for your time and attention.

Latre.

Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “dog abnormal from eating ice cream”.

I always find it weird when there’s a feature movie made of a TV show that’s still on the air. My earliest recollection of that phenomenon was seeing the McHale’s Navy movie in the theater, even when the show was still showing up on my TV. (Although… hmmm… the numbers on that don’t quite work out, since the movie came out in 1964 when I was 4, and the TV show went from 1962-1966. I think I was more like 7 or 8 when I saw the movie, so I must’ve just been familiar with the show from the daily reruns. I remember I saw the movie at one of those Saturday Morning Matinee things at the local theater, where they would show slightly out-of-date movies for cheap to a theater full of little kids. My mom would frequently drop me off at that so she could go do other things. Those were simpler times. They had door prizes and everything. I remember winning a toy submarine that would dive to the bottom of the pool and then rise back up again, due to some kind of Mentos-like lozenge you would put in its hull. I loved that sub. But I digress.)

The most recent example I can think of is The X-Files movie . Sheesh, hard to believe that was 10 years ago already, and that there’s a second one coming out this summer. That movie sort of promised to reveal what had been going on in the TV series, but it was a predictable muddle (like the show at the time) and didn’t really make sense of anything.

The best example is South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut, which took the themes from the TV show and expanded them into something that was quite funny, moving, and spectacular. Years later, the TV show is going strong, and the movie did nothing to undermine it.

The Simpsons Movie is not quite the success that the South Park movie was, even though they both have the still-running-TV-show thing and the animation thing in common. I think it’s probably a bit harder to come up with a plot for a movie of a TV show that’s been running for nearly 20 years, since all possible plots have been done by now. South Park had only been on the air for a couple of years (with fewer episodes per year) when its movie came out. Yeah, it was cool that they were able to do some things with the big screen Simpsons that they couldn’t do on the small one, like nudity, profanity, obscene hand gestures, impossible action sequences, and better animation. But the plot, although bigger in scope than your standard Simpsons episode, still seemed like a drawn-out version of an episode. Homer does something stupid which gets him (and the whole town) in trouble, and then he has to persevere to make things right. A plot we’ve seen dozens of times on the show. But at least it was funny and entertaining and fast-moving. The celebrity cameos were kept to a minimum - pretty much just Tom Hanks, although Albert Brooks voiced the main antagonist.

I really can’t fault the producers for getting a Simpsons movie out of the way now while the show is still on, since it’s obvious they did want to do one and there was some demand for it, and it may be a long time before the show is canceled and they could do a post-show movie. Heck, in that EW issue I was talking about yesterday, they named The Simpsons as the #1 show of the past 25 years. So it may be around for awhile. I bet there will be another movie someday, but I don’t know what in the world they could do as a plot for it. Maybe Homer and Family visit the home planet of Kang & Kodos’?

Happy Independence Day, everyone! Don’t drink too much Duff Beer!

Latre.

Pet Peeve of the Day: Hearing the musical strains of an ice cream truck, craving some ice cream on a hot 4th of July day, and not having the truck actually go through my street.

Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “i smoke winstons”.

On a music mailing list that I’m on, there was a discussion recently about Lifes Rich Pageant where I thought I had to defend it. I thought I was one of the few R.E.M. fans who placed the album near the top of their catalog (if not the top). But then I was surprised when others defended it as well. And now I’m really surprised that EW has essentially declared it the best R.E.M. album. I always thought the conventional mainstream wisdom was more in favor of Automatic For The People, Out Of Time, Green, or even Document. And the fans were more into the first three albums. LRP just kind of seemed out there on its own between the two extremes, not really preferred by anyone.

Anyway, here’s what EW says:
Previously confined to the college-rock ghetto, the Athens, Ga., quartet produced an album of lean, mean straightforward rockers. The result: a killer collection, highlighted by the chiming “Fall on Me.”

The “college-rock ghetto”? Though “Fall on Me” was their biggest hit up to that point, I’m not sure it really catapulted them out of that alleged ghetto. It took Document and “The One I Love” to do that. But it’s not like they were that unknown before LRP.

Though there are definitely rockers on the album, and it’s probably the closest thing to a rocking album they’d come up with by that point, I would hesitate to classify it as “an album of straightforward rockers”. “Chiming” does not exactly equal “rocker”, although “Fall on Me” does manage to be both, I guess. Not to mention the fact that nothing R.E.M. does is ever “straightforward”, musically or lyrically. You can finally hear Stipe actually enunciating words on this album, but the meanings of those words are nearly as elusive as on the first three albums.

So, I just thought it was a strange, but oddly pleasant, thing for EW to declare. I guess I agree with their reckoning, if not their analysis. I know these lists are made by committee and don’t really reveal or mean much, but they’re fun to talk about and they generate some buzz. I just don’t understand how a list of the best music of the past 25 years can have a Justin Timberlake album and no Plants And Birds And Rocks And Things from the Loud Family, but that’s a discussion for another time. I’m still in some kind of indie-rock ghetto and out of touch with the listmakers.

Latre.

Jogged Today: Yes (@ 57°F)
Songs That Came Up On The iPod While Jogging:

• “A Strange Kind of Love (Version 1)” (Peter Murphy)
• “Twitch” (Bif Naked)
• “Butterball” (Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass)
• “Agent’s Got A Secret” (Dada)
• “NYC” (Interpol)
• “Weathervane” (Miles Dethmuffen)

Although maybe the tainted food is actually celery?? That would be cool too.

Thankfully, Taco Bell doesn’t use cilantro. I think. But they are into taunting me. In today’s paper, there was another coupon for a Spicy CrunchWrap Supreme for $2.89. Aaargghhh! This is driving me frakkin’ crazy! I want to drive down to my local TB right now and present that coupon and see what they do. But I have to go to bed. Plus, only the drive-thru is open at this time of night, and that wouldn’t quite work. I need to wave it in someone’s face.

Why must they torment me so??

Latre.

Jogged Today: Yes (@ 63°F)
Songs That Came Up On The iPod While Jogging:

• “OK Apartment” (The Oranges Band)
• “Unwashed Uncool” (Butterfly Child)
• “The Man With the Blurry Face” (Firewater)
• “Don’t Make Me a Target” (Spoon)
• “Day One, Amanda Year” (Baskervilles)
• “My Life In Reverse” (Maxïmo Park)

Pet Peeve of the Day: The new 2.40 system update firmware for the PlayStation 3, which introduces the in-game cross-media bar and a new “trophy” achievement system at last, is apparently causing some people’s PS3s to stop working. The problem is widespread enough that Sony has pulled the update. Of course, I downloaded the update this morning as soon as it was available. I haven’t had any problems, but I only briefly tested it out this morning by playing a little Portal. Apparently there are no reports of problems after a successful install, so I guess I’m okay. I don’t want no $500 brick.

The Top Three Monster-Related Search Terms Of The Day That Led To This Blog:

1. “mothra belly”
2. “gamera the flying turtle”
3. “jody foster airframe”.

This reminds me of my all-time favorite Onion article: Starbucks To Begin Sinister ‘Phase Two’ Of Operation.

And speaking of grocery stores, just when did “grape tomatoes” come into being? And how are they different from “cherry tomatoes”? What’s next, “pineapple tomatoes”? “Watermelon tomatoes”? Why can’t tomatoes just be tomatoes? Why do they have to keep crossing them with other fruits?

Latre.

Jogged Today: Yes (@ 66°F)
Songs That Came Up On The iPod While Jogging:

• “Crosswires” (XTC)
• “Ten Feet Tall” (XTC)
• “Kill Yr Idols” (Sonic Youth)
• “Crosseyed” (Brendan Benson)
• “Under the Sun” (Buzzcocks)
• “I Took Only What I Needed” (Richard Barone)
• “Blame It On Me” (Barenaked Ladies)

I believe this is the first time in the history of the Fast Tempo jogging playlist that the same artist has had back-to-back songs (though Charlotte Hatherley came really close the other week).

Cool Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “godzilla destroying the sydney opera house picture”.

Prolific Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “difference in crunchwrap supreme and queso crunchwrap” (and many variations thereof). Something has finally knocked the “spanking” phrases off the top of the search terms list. I never dreamed so many people would be looking for information on CrunchWrap Supremes. It’s really elevated my hit stats this last week. I just wish a few of those visitors to my blog had bothered to let me know how much the item costs in their area.

Girl at party to guy at party: “All politicians are evil!”
Guy: “You said it!”
Girl: “Finally, someone who shares my struggle!”
Guy: “Right! Do you wanna go to my apartment?”
Girl (incredulously): “What kind of girl do you think I am?”
Guy munches on Twix bar and thinks it over, then dejectedly says: “I thought you were a believer, someone would who would want to blog about our ideals.”
Girl (happily): “Oh, blogging! I love blogging!”
Guy then leads girl out of apartment.

(You can watch this whole sorry scene on twix.com, as part of an interactive “choose your own adventure” Get The Girl game that then extends the scene out to it’s ultimate outcome. And becomes even more offensive.)

As I’m sure numerous bloggers have already pointed out:
1) Blogging is not the way to get girls. In fact, it’s something of a detriment.
2) Blogging is not a group activity, unless you’re Boing Boing or io9 or Wonkette or something like that, where a staff of writers contribute different posts.

As per the usual, it’s like the ad writers are latching on to some popular term or fad without really understanding it. Although who knows - maybe this gal does like going over to the apartments of strange men and composing blog entries with them throughout the night. “Change that sentence there. That should be its, not it’s.” Even though blogging really is a solitary activity perpetrated by lonely, degenerate freaks huddled up next to their computer screens for warmth, maybe “chain blogs” will catch on. You could have blog parties where each guest writes one sentence of a blog entry which must be loosely connected to the last sentence written by the previous guest. Alcohol is a must, and the blog entry isn’t considered publishable until someone writes “And then the Warlord swung in and killed everyone”. (Sorry, that’s an in-joke that only a few of my readers will get.) So, let’s get that trend started - everyone go out there, find someone off the street, and compose a blog entry with them. Bonus points if the two of you have differing political views or if the blogging session leads to sex.

Latre.

The theater movie was The Incredible Hulk. Based on how many people were in the theater (8 including myself), I don’t think it’s going to be in the theaters for much longer. Although Saturday morning shows are never very crowded anyway. I’m not one of those people who totally villified Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk - it did have its moments (including Jennifer Connelly). But I have to admit this newer incarnation is vastly improved. Edward Norton makes a much better Bruce Banner than Eric Bana did. He’s an outstanding actor and he always has that inner intensity waiting to just burst out, no matter what role he plays. So that makes for a perfect Hulk. Liv Tyler didn’t do all that much for me as Betty Ross, but the part was somewhat underwritten anyway. (I’m probably risking getting some flack for this, but Ms Tyler looked a bit… chunky in the movie. She’s still a very beautiful woman and there’s nothing wrong with her, she just looked different from what I remember. Was the movie made before or after a pregnancy? Or maybe it was just the way they had her dressed.) The climatic fight was a lot more entertaining than the one in the first movie, even though it was just two big CGI monsters duking it out. The Hulk’s face had some real personality to it with some playful boyishness. Love those bangs!

Pet Peeve of the Day: I notice that Marvel is trying to pull in fans of the Iron Man movie by playing up the Robert Downey Jr appearance in TV spots for The Incredible Hulk. That’s pretty low, since the scene is at the very end and is maybe a minute long. It is a nice scene though, and great nod to what Marvel is trying to do with its movies now and an interesting glimpse of the future.

The rented movie I saw was Dan In Real Life. N and I both thought this one was just okay. Steve Carell is excellent, as he almost always is, and it’s cool seeing him handle a part with grace that’s as much drama as comedy. Juliette Binoche is ravishing and vivacious, but I think I liked her more than N did, who thought her character was actually kind of annoying. But we both had one big problem with the movie. Dane Cook was not annoying as he usually is. No, that’s not it. Oh yeah:

The movie takes place over a period of a couple of days, as Steve’s character Dan and his three daughters trek up to the Rhode Island shore (to the world’s most perfect all-wood house) for some kind of winter vacation with Dan’s perfect extended family (parents, siblings, spouses of siblings, nieces and nephews). The Burns family is one that could only exist in a movie. Everybody in the family likes everyone else. They all play games together, endlessly. They do dance aerobics outside first thing in the morning. They even have a freakin’ talent show in the living room, where everyone is expected to perform. Gramma and Grampa (Dianne Wiest and John Mahoney) are full of good humor and good advice, and are apparently in fantastic health for their age. In fact, everyone seems to be in great health and great spirits, except for Dan who is a widower in love with this brother’s new girlfriend. This is the most “together” large family I’ve ever seen in a movie. If they all didn’t drink so much alcohol, I would’ve thought they were Mormons. It was just a little too much sweetness to swallow. That one bit of conflict introduced into the family didn’t really seem to faze anyone all that much, and the family bonds are as strong at the end of the movie as they were at the beginning. I swear, sometimes it seemed as much of a fantasy as August Rush. Maybe it was some sort of wish fulfillment on the part of the screenwriter, who probably had a crappy childhood. I kept waiting for the Hulk to burst in and smash that happy home into wood pulp.

But other than that, the movie was entertaining.

Latre.

Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “what is beeping in my kitchen”.

In this day and age, why do they even make and send out these things?? It’s much easier to shop on the Internet and not deal with these tree-eating monsters. The thing is just going right into my recycle bin. It took up most of the space in my mail slot and smooshed the packaging of my NetFlix DVD and my other mail.

I’m not even sure why they sent it. I assume they got the address when I ordered something online for my father to give to his girlfriend for her birthday. But isn’t ordering online a good tipoff that a catalog isn’t needed? Or maybe they got the name/address from the store purchases I’ve made for him (again, gifts for his gf). I don’t know. Either way, it just seems silly.

I also occasionally get a big Cabela’s catalog in the mail, though it’s not quite as huge. I think I’m on their list because of some gift items I’ve ordered online.

Relics of a distant age… does anyone actually look at print catalogs anymore? I guess I can understand it if you don’t have an outlet nearby - N does insist I save the LL Bean catalogs for her. Maybe it is a little easier to browse than the website. But now that Sharper Image is (more or less) dead, there are no catalogs I want to see! (Note: Kidding about liking Sharper Image catalogs - though I did used to dig them.)

Latre.

Jogged Today: Yes (@ 60°F)
Songs That Came Up On The iPod While Jogging:

• “What’s It All About” (Bill Nelson)
• “I Sell Love” (Mink Lungs)
• “Wrong ‘Em Boyo” (The Clash)
• “Missing The Boat” (Random Hold)
• “Step” (Palindromes)
• “If It Kills Me” (Therapy?)
• “Lost Outside The Tunnel” (Aztec Camera)

Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “fruitista freeze racist”. (There ya go, 2fs.)