I (Don’t) Think I Love You
Posted on | October 4, 2004 at 7:30 pm | Comments Off
Reality shows just keep getting worse and worse… click on the “read more” to find out about one I’m currently addicted to, that I wish I wasn’t…
As a pre-teen in the early 70s, one of my favorite shows was the sitcom The Partridge Family. I’m not sure if I thought it was particularly funny (though Danny could be a hoot, and something of an anti-role model), but there were other things I enjoyed about it. Though it was uncool to admit it at the time, I dug the bubblegum music in the show and even owned a couple of PF albums on cassette, which I would hide from my friends. I liked the concept of a family rock group and probably wished deep down that my family could be a rock group too. Even though my mind knew that the actors probably weren’t really playing their instruments, I didn’t want to admit it to myself. But that illusion was another thing that drew me in. And, of course, I had a big crush on Laurie Partridge/Susan Dey, though I’m not sure I recognized it as such in those pre-adolescent days. And hey, she played the keyboards! Actually, she didn’t do a very good imitation of playing the keyboards, but whatever.
So, when VH1 announced that they were going to do a new modernized version of a Partridge Family sitcom, and were going to have a reality show to pick the cast from the great pool of American unknowns, I couldn’t help tuning in. And I gotta say, In Search of the Partridge Family is one of the worst reality shows ever. I was hoping it would be a guilty pleasure, but it’s more guilt than pleasure. I can’t pinpoint any one thing that really makes me howl, but the whole show taken as a package just really makes me feel unclean for some reason.
The host, Todd-somebody-or-other is a totally bland Ryan Seacrest type who pretty much just gets to say the same things over and over again every week. One of the judges is record producer Tim Palmer, whom I actually respect (or did, before he got involved in this). Every week they trot out original PF stars David Cassidy, Danny Bonnaduce, and Shirley Jones, and every week they act like they’re appearing for the first time and the audience and Todd act like it’s such an amazing coup that they’re there. Susan Dey obviously wisely decided to not have any involvement in the proceedings, and hence her dignity remains intact (she has good timing, as she also left L.A. Law before the last couple of bad seasons).
They are casting only for the parts of Keith, Danny, Laurie and Shirley. I guess it would’ve been cruel to force little kids to try out for the parts of little fake drummer guy Chris and tambourine-smacking Tracy. However, in this new modernized updated version of the sitcom, they actually want people who have some musical talent. Unfortunately, this seems to equate in the producers’ (and audience’s?) mind to having stage presence while singing (mangling) a song, rather than actually being able to like sing or play an instrument for real. In fact, the people who could actually play instruments were the first to get booted off, presumedly because you can’t focus on looking cool singing while also playing. I think they should’ve gone all the way and made sure that the new Keith could play guitar, that Shirley and Laurie could play keyboards, and that Danny could play the bass. And maybe they’ll actually train them to do so for the real show, but I doubt it. The emphasis is definitely on the singing.
The show follows a set pattern. Every episode focuses on a different character (”The Battle of the Keiths” for example). First, we get to see the eight finalists from the original country-wide auditions take the stage just long enough for Todd to tell us which three are going home immediately, based on how they did in the acting, singing, style, etc. workshops they’ve gone through in the past week. And oh yeah, there’s supposedly also a criteria for resemblance to the original actors/characters, which really doesn’t make much sense to me. They even made all the Dannys die their hair red. So, anyway, after the first 3 get sent home (to a disappointed “Awwwww” and then clapping from the cue-card instructed audience), the remaining five have to sing a verse and chorus or so of some pop song. (The funniest of these was one of the young Dannys doing “Respect”, and he even advanced to the next round after that!) The four judges score their performance and then the bottom two get sent packing. This is where that stage presence comes in. You can make it past this round no matter how bad your singing is if you make a lot of sexy or exagerrated moves while performing.
Then comes the acting competition, which is actually kind of clever. Through the “miracle of blue screen” (as Todd keeps reminding us), the wannabees are able to act in scenes from the original sitcom against the original cast. The illusion is pretty convincing. The funniest goof that occurred during this bit was when one of the actresses auditioning for Laurie had to make a hand gesture indicating “bra” and ended up stabbing herself in the chest, which just happened to be where the microphone was. The loud “pop” was extremely distracting.
After the acting competition, we are told by Todd to get on those phone lines or the Internet, and vote for our favorite performer of the night. The one with the least amount of votes gets evicted on the next episode (although they say something about the judge’s votes coming into play there too, so I’m not sure how much say America actually has). They reveal who got sent home, and then we go to end credits with David Cassidy storming the stage with his guitar, trying to get everyone to sing along to an old PF tune. It’s pure cheese.
There’s also a bit of drama that the producers are playing up for all its worth. One of the two finalists for Keith and one of the three finalists for Shirley are related. The Shirley is the biological mother of the Keith – she had given him up for adoption when he was born, and they’ve only known each other for a year and a half. Since Shirley Jones was David Cassidy’s stepmother, this gives the producers an interesting parallel with the original show. These two don’t seem to be that much less talented than the others, but I still suspect that they’re being kept around mainly because of their relationship to each other.
So far I don’t have a lot invested in this. The only performer I’d like to see win is Emily Stone, one of the Laurie’s (she of the chest-stab), just because she seems somewhat wacky yet wholesomely cute at the same time. I’m sure she’s got it locked up. One of the 8 Dannys was taller than most of the Keiths – he was gone in the first round. Some of the Shirleys are definitely hotter than Shirley Jones was back in the day.
I can’t believe I’ve wasted this much time and blog space on a show I find pretty stupid. And that I’m going to keep watching it. But, y’know, it’s hard to give up those things from your childhood. Especially if you’re me.
Latre.