How To Alienate A Neighbor
Posted on | July 7, 2008 at 11:04 pm | 3 Comments
Does this ever happen to you? Sometimes I let my sense of humor get the best of me. Or is it my love of obscure musical groups and odd legal terms?
During the 4th of July holiday, I went out into my backyard to watch N hanging her laundry. My neighbor and his wife were assembling something in their backyard. At first I thought it was a support for a free-standing hammock, and I asked him if that’s what it was. “No”, he said “It’s a trampoline!” I quickly came back with “Ah, an attractive nuisance!”. They both looked at me strangely and then he said “But they’re really fun!” Realizing I’d said something dumb, I started to explain about how they have to worry about other kids coming into their yard to play on it, but I don’t think I made much sense. Nevertheless, he nodded knowingly (or patronizingly). After that, they only did a little more work on it, and they didn’t touch it the whole rest of the weekend, even though I know they were home. Only part of the frame is up, and the dog doesn’t seem too happy to have over half her yard potentially taken up with the thing. Maybe they realized it’s too big?
After the exchange, N asked me what the heck was I thinking and why did I want to piss off my neighbors? Of course the term was on my mind because of the Loud Family album Attractive Nuisance, which is where I first heard of it. So whenever I see a trampoline, that’s what I always think of. Damn this pop culture/pop music mindset of mine! That explanation didn’t do much to mollify her. I think the real explanation is that sometimes I’m just a dick.
Latre.
Pet Peeve of the Day: A giant trampoline in my neighbor’s yard. Cue the noisy kids having a lot of fun!
Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog: “poignant search term of the day”. (Very funny, InfK!)
Comments
3 Responses to “How To Alienate A Neighbor”
July 8th, 2008 @ 12:04 am
“Poignant Search Term Of The Day That Led To This Blog:”
bwahahahahaha! he’s too funny.
mrs iFaheynK
July 8th, 2008 @ 12:44 am
> but I don’t think I made much sense
A standup comic would tell you, “the first rule is never explain!” But they go to a new town every week.
Me, I just get used to the blank looks. And, I rent (or, used to)
July 8th, 2008 @ 3:19 pm
Calculate the highest height any kid is likely to be able to jump on the trampolene. Then, in your yard, build a structure whose walls are approximately one foot higher than could be visible from the top of that jump. Then put a sign on the side of the structure, clearly visible to the neighbors, that says “PORN SHED.” (The structure should, it is needless to say, lack a roof.)
Now, older kids at least will be trying to leap higher than they can in order to get a glimpse into the “PORN SHED.” Broken necks abound!
Oh wait – you don’t want to alienate your neighbors or inspire lawsuits? Never mind.